Does my wife even want to be in this family?

If this is the truth, then I'd agree that she's 100% in the wrong. If she is unwilling to get help, and you have tried to get help to save your marriage - then the only thing you can do it to leave. She's got it coming anyway. She's taking the easy way out by saying that she wants to seperate - a person who was serious about their family wouldn't just quit like that. Basically, she is still in denial that anything is her fault, hence her blaming anything and everything else for her problems. She has a gambling problem because you aren't a social person? Give me a break!! Until she is willing to step up and take responsibility for her actions and be willing to get help to change - there isn't a single thing you can do. Usually I think that the woman should be the one who keeps the house in order to raise the children (because that is normally how it goes)...but in this instance I agree with you 100%. Why should you have to leave your house and children because your wife is a moron? You didnt' do anything wrong here at all - so she should be the one leaving, not you. If she tries to play dirty and rake you over the coals for everything you have: I'd play dirty right back. Go to the court and tell them all about her little addiction and negative behaviors. That might gain you some sympathy from the judge. People look highly on men who try to do the right thing and be a father to their kids - I know I'd side with you on this one. Hope this helps :)