Can the community please help me i have a big big problem?

Is she happily married? It is wrong to have an affair regardless, if she is unhappy she should work it out with her husband for their sake and for the kids sake, but if its something that cant be worked out (which I doubt unless he is abusive) she should divorce, heal, and then look into dating. It would be selfish for her to divorce him just to be with you, or to continue an affair. The right thing to do would be to cut ties and hope she can save her marriage.